How to Manage Your Anger
Before you start reading the rest of the article, here’s a fact: Anger can be a healthy emotion. In the right amounts, anger can help us defend ourselves and prevent others from stepping all over us. It’s also a normal reaction when we feel vulnerable or hurt.
However, being prone to bursts of anger is another thing entirely. Acting out in anger is also generally considered unwise and can hurt other people. To avoid creating more problems with your anger, learn how to manage it, step back and use the anger to more productive and positive means. Here’s how.
Usually the first thing you can do is stop yourself from saying hurtful words and take a deep breath. Just think that you are breathing in positive energy and exhaling all the negative energy. Here’s how to breathe properly.
Close your eyes before doing or saying anything, to get your temper back in control. Having a so-called “happy place” is also very effective in these moments. Try to think of something that will make you feel happy and relaxed. If not, counting to ten is also an effective way to prevent blowing up.
Having some breathing room between yourself and the thing that caused you to be angry also helps. Walk out into open spaces to have more room to yourself.
Expend the Energy
Anger usually brings out a pent-up energy within us that we don’t know how expend other than lashing out. Here are some ways you can use that energy for a more positive end:
Take a Walk. Walking is a great way to let off steam. The change in environment and people you may meet along the way can help get your mind off things.
Write it Down. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Write all the feelings of anger, hurt and frustration that you are having. Just vent. Discard the paper or burn it, and let the angry feelings burn away with it. Pen and paper is the best. After all, you don’t want people reading your blog or opening a document and seeing all your negative thoughts about them.
Exercise. Rigorous exercise is yet another positive way to expend all that angry energy. Usually a vigorous round of cardio or boxing will take the violence out of you and will give you a more mellow mood afterward. On the other extreme, some time spent doing yoga can also help you find your center and calm.
Shout! Find a nice empty place where you won’t bother anyone with your shouting. Once you find that place, just shout out all of your frustrations! You’ll feel better after that.
Talk. Do you have friends and family you can tell anything to? Talking to people you trust about your anger and frustration can help a lot, and can even give you another perspective on the situation. The term “getting it off your chest” is appropriate here.
Do other things that will take your mind off the situation. Listen to your favorite music, chill at home while watching your favorite music or read a book. Focusing on your work or a hobby can also be very relaxing and a sort of a slow-release way to expend angry energy.
Distancing yourself from the situation can help you attain a more logical way to look at it, and you can reassess whether your immediate reaction was warranted.
If you are a religious person, forgiveness is often a theme in religious text. Pray over the situation. If you are not religious or do not belong to a religion, learning how to meditate can also be very helpful and calming.
Getting worked up and angry for a situation is not good for you, both mentally and physically. If you find yourself still angry about a situation even after weeks it has happened, sit down and write a message to the person who made you angry. Send the letter and let it go. Being angry over something for too long is never a good thing. Just walk away after you’ve said your part. After all, what would being angry at this point do?