Dealing With Anger
Anger can cause serious physical health problems like ulcers and heart disease. It can also make you act in ways that cause you to lose your job, or friends or break up your marriage. You can deal with anger as it happens and you can change your approach to life.
Feelings of anger are a normal reaction to some situations which are beyond your control. Sometimes, anger is an indication of too much stress. It is hard to know if you should just let your anger pass or if it needs more attention to get rid of it.
Anger is a serious problem requiring attention if it is:
constantly on your mind for weeks at a time and is making it impossible to enjoy life
caused by something that happened a long time ago
causing you to do spiteful things
making you act violently toward others or to yourself
interfering with your ability to do your job
hurting your relationships with family or friends.
Short terms solutions to anger:
Admit that you are angry. By denying feelings of anger they will not go away, instead they will keep reappearing in inappropriate ways.
Try not to over-react. Think about whether the situation is really as bad as it seems. How would you feel if you saw someone reacting as you have to this situation.
Force your attention onto a more pleasant thought, a happy vacation for example, rather than the line up or traffic or whatever has you angry.
Identify the source of your anger. Is it the actions or words of another person that is hurting you? If so, try to deal with that person in a peaceful, productive way to get them to understand why you are angry.
Listen carefully, without interrupting the other person, so you can understand what the person is trying to explain.
Long term solutions to anger:
Find out from others who have similar experiences, how they dealt with something out of their control like losing a job
Avoid blaming yourself even if you have caused your own misfortune through an error. Try to learn from your mistake so you don't make it again.
Reduce tension by finding time for physical activity. Anger is a physical outlet of all the energy released as a result of stress reaction. Find a more productive way to expend that energy.
Reduce your stress level. Use stress management techniques and try to find time for more things that you enjoy
Learn to meditate. It is not as mystic as you think. If you learn to control your thoughts when you are not angry it will help you maintain control when you are angry.
Laugh at yourself. If you can see the funny side of a difficult situation you can laugh instead of lashing out.
Learn to trust the abilities of others and respect that we all have different qualities. Some of your anger may be coming from a lack of faith in the capabilities of other people.
Talk to someone you trust, a close family member, friend or member of the clergy who may help you see things with a different perspective.
Get professional help. If your problems are serious you may need the help of a mental health counselor.